Thursday Thoughts

Hello internet universe!

Sorry for the short hiatus. Life has been a bit busy lately. I have a lot of thoughts so this is me trying to make them coherent. With gifs!!!

School started back at the end of August. It has been kicking my butt and that’s why I haven’t written in awhile. I feel like I’m running on a treadmill that doesn’t stop. Balancing school with a full time job, plus my side gig of stand in pancreas is exhausting. I truly do enjoy and love my job. Even on the hard days when I want to GTFO as soon as 5 o’clock hits. Being in healthcare is exhausting in a way that only other healthcare workers know. Dealing with other peoples needs all day is another level. Especially when you’re an introvert, like me. I usually need significant downtime to recover, but now that time is filled with school work. With all of that I simply didn’t have the mental energy to write.

I had an appointment with my PCP a few weeks ago. We were discussing the added stress and anxiety. She said “Unfortunately working in healthcare is stressful, and it isn’t getting any easier”. Then we gave each other the look of silent commiseration and understanding that healthcare workers know all too well. It makes me sad that that is the feedback people who are wanting to become doctors/NPs/PAs/RNs get from those in the profession. It’s not uncommon though. The thing is, I could not imagine doing anything else. Most people in healthcare feel the same way. We are just so tired.

I got to spend my lunch break making calls to my own mail order pharmacy and trying to explain to them why my glucagon wasn’t written for a 90 day supply. Also trying to find out what the deal is with Humalog needing a PA. They kindly suggested I switch to Novolog because it is preferred and less expensive. The first person I talked to was incredibly unhelpful. The second person I talked to was helpful, but did not have a good answer. Also I just looked it up and Novolog IS NOT ON THE FORMULARY! So it would not be cheaper. Now I’m even more upset. I hate it when insurance and PBMs dictate care. Hopefully my endo (really her nurses) can work some magic and get a PA approved.

To add to that I went to get my COVID booster after work and ended up being there for almost an hour waiting. I thought the pharmacist was going to have a mental breakdown in front of all of us. TBH I wouldn’t have blamed her. The drive though was constant. The line inside was 5 people deep. She was having to go between giving COVID boosters and people picking up their meds. Between the people all quietly annoyed at the wait and the stress of the workers it was not a fun time to be an empath. I felt bad for being there and adding to the stress. Then the pharmacist had the audacity to tell me diabetes doesn’t make me immunocompromised and only being a nurse made me eligible. Ma’am it’s listed right there on the paperwork, YOU had me fill out, under chronic medical conditions. I wasn’t in the mood to argue. Then she did the thing people do when they find out I work in peds. She said “I could never work with sick kids. I don’t know how you do it.” I never know what to say that. It’s like like when people say “I could never poke myself or give myself shots”. I booked it out of there and didn’t wait the 15min.

That my dear readers is just an average Thursday as a nurse with diabetes and anxiety aka my life. I am incredibly thankful for friends you can text when you’re freaking out at Walgreens. Then laugh about cracker barrel in the same conversation. Or friends who make jokes with you about having a disability. Living this life wouldn’t be doable with out them. Even if I don’t mention it’s been a rough day just talking to them makes everything better.

Thanks for reading my inner ramblings. I’m hoping to get on a semi regular schedule of posting so be on the look out.